My Blog

Its cold here…much more colder than usual. Missing him. It’s a very surreal feeling. I used to dread the early morning when I have to wake up get ready to work, not forgetting the long drive b4 I reach office, I use to laments how I wish I can be at UK now & go on with my studies. Now that im here, it just feels strange, I miss the little things back in the office. I miss Frank, I miss my morning coffee in my green mug (dear dear broke it), I miss my seat, my desk, my work, even my colleagues. Many might say that im stupid to leave the good things behind & go off to UK. Whether its my job, my family, my relationship, Going to UK is not just about study, its about testin my independence, my surviving perseverence. I want to know to what extend I can endure the cold, the different culture in the other part of the world, the morality of the society & etc. Its not easy, to start a life in a total different place, with no one on stand-by at all time. But this is what I want & I will stand against all odds, simply because I know y I’m here for, & I will do it good, give my ‘bestest’ shot.  

To dear dear: I love u so much, thank u for being with me. U’r  the best that I can ever have.

Time is Precious. We can’t bank it like money; put it in fix deposit & save it for rainy days in future. It has no expiry, its evergreen. However, the needle never stops ticking, that’s how people take advantage of it. How we spend it becomes one of the most important decisions we make day-by-day, moment by moment. The choices we make show how we value it and how we value ourselves. I’d never treasure time as much when I was a kid. All I know I need more time to study, more time so I will be able to rush to tuition in time, more time to revise before the next test, more time to study before the next paper. Time is always viewed as: > TIME = > EXCELLENT GRADE. 

After my school years, I went to college. Again, > TIME= PUNCTUAL SUBMISSION. Sometimes, time was wasted on dwelling in thoughts that are damaging to the soul. Time is ravage on social gatherings that weren’t constructive to the spirit. I spend most of my college years yearning for things that I’m not suppose to have. I search for true love, sincere friendship, innocently believe that it would be enough as long as I’d give out my 101%,

But right now, I value time like I never did before. TIME=EVERYTHING. Friends, family, studies, career, love, work, activities, future, books, world etc. etc. etc. TIME- I WANT IT ALL. Yet, I’d learned that we often not willing to let go of what’s not working to focus on more what is. I believe we can all feel as though time is on or side instead seeing it as an enemy tries all our means to race against the clock, to hurry our future wishing we could turn back the clock back to happy times. Instead, we can flow with it, being present with our experiences and making the most of each moment we have,

This blog is inspired by May. I just realize that we have so little time even though we seems to have plenty. Thanks for spending time with me dear. I promise, no matter how busy I am, I will make sure our friendship never fade, cos I treasure u as much as I treasure time. I will always anticipate the date to open our letter: - 30/01/2016

I’ve got my memories,

They’re always inside of me

But i cant go back to how it was

I’ve believe now, I’ve come too far

No i cant go back, go back to how it was

Created for a place, I’ve never known

This is home, now i’m finally where i belong

Where i belong

I’ve been searching for a place of my own

Now i’ve found it, maybe this is home

Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery, i’ve seen the enemy

And i wont go back, go back to how it was

And i got my heart set on

What happens next

I’ve got my eyes wide

Its not over yet

We are miracles

And we are not alone

And now after all my searching

After all my questions

Im gonna call it home

I got a brand new mindset

I can finally see the sunset

Im gonna call it home

Now i know

This is home

Dedicate to u my dear, u are my home…

The Secret is what they call the Law Of Attraction – the idea that you become or attract what you think about the most. Or as one person expressed it: “Thoughts become things.”

These Secretons are close to something but I don’t think they’re delivering the message in a correct way, or rather delusional. I have no doubts that a person can define their own existence in the universe however your existence in the universe is not what defines you.

I’m not being skeptical or have anything that against the LOA, I don’t know whether the application of law of attraction will dictate my life, but I do believe life is a mixture of fate, determination, faith n effort. No matter which way u choose to walk, which choice u make, It has its own silver lining, it just depend on how u look at it, whether the glass is half full, or half empty.

Happiness is all about modest expectations, about gratitude & about counting your blessings. There’s no need to always have what u want. The goal is not getting or asks (from the universe) the things you want; it’s the process of getting it that matters. Ask for a bike, ask for a car, ask for a house, ask for your cash, ask for a diamond necklace, keep asking for everything. When you have everything you wanted, what do you have then? … Nothing?

Instead, let’s ask for integrity in our own thoughts, honour in our actions and love in the world around us. Life is indeed abundance with so much to anticipate, so much to venture, so much to experience & so much to look forward to.

Sometimes, its just so hard to let go something which had been so close to u. Without u knowing it, it had become sort of an identity.

Thank you for keeping me in touch with my loved ones for six long years, u had been a faithful companion at times in need.(even though, u drive me crazy sometimes when i cant purchase my super savers.)

Im gonna mis u. Farewell, o12-4541837.

Things had been subtle lately. Except that I miss my mattress terribly. Gosh, its been 5 months, honestly, I’d never expect it to last that long. Lesson learned: U never know.

Im just so overwhelmed & caught off guard with all these wonderful things that’s happening to me. I have a job, which I enjoy occasionally, I have the most wonderful & loving mom, I have a cute granny that drives u crazy sometimes, my dearest girlfrens, whom I treasure to bits, aunty gini & u gary who’d always believe in me, not forgetting my ultimate miracle- nutig.

If u take a good look, u will notice that things are beautiful if u love them, u will notice that things exist as long as u believe in them, u will notice that all living things in this planet, this universe is all bind by one thing: connection. Its amazing how Dr. Seuss Horton’s movie really opened up my eyes. A person is a person, no matter how small. U can never deny their existence. The world is so big, the universe is vast, & we, human are just like the people in Whovilled, our earth might be just as small as the speck. U never know.

I believe God has His reason for all that had happened, whether it’s the catastrophic, the disastrous, the joyful, the blissful. Whatever it is, I just cant thank Him enough for all the blessings & happiness that He’d bestowed me. I promise, I’ll pass the love around, in any way that I can.

DId u know that dealing with tiles just wanna make u pull ur hair out of ur head sometimes.? Well, i’m tellin u, it does. Tiles r just not just tiles, they are like these little squares that cause u severe frustration & confusion. No, don’t get me wrong. I love tiles. They are beautiful stuff, u cant imagine the variation of tiles since it’s creation. But the act to put it together to beautify a space considering the size, colour, type, quantity & arrangement is a real headache. Believe me, dealing with tiles can be as challenging as solving a crossword puzzle or sodoku.

For goodness sake, I’m an ID graduate, how can i be defeated b a 1300×2400 toilet???
Tiles, i wont let u bring me down.

"When one door of happiness closes, another one opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened to us." ~Helen Keller.

Life is always throwing us curve balls that we must learn to respond to with grace & grit. Indeed, it is in the curves themselves that we find the open door. Ex: Julio Iglesias (soccer turn musician, James Whister (soldier turn artist). Framing our experience in terms of open & closed doors helps us not feel like a failures & asks us to engage passionately with what life is calling us to do next.

But sometime, u cant help but looking back at the closed door once in a while, ponder & wonder how’d u’d survive with the closed door for so long. But u had survive & its important to remind urself that u should stop bangin ur head on the closed door & start lookin for an open door, even there’s no time frame how long it would remain open b4 it closes again. In all, happiness can be defined as the wholehearted willingness to seek  & find th open door, again & again, as our lives unfold.

Dear, I’m really happy to hear

ur

excitement & enthusiast tone telling me the news of

ur

newborn goddaughter. U will be a great dad, miss no name is so lucky to have u as her goddad.

I can feel that u are truly happy, its always amazing how the birth of new life could bring so much happiness & joy to the world. From now on, I know u’ll always be fine & will never be lost, cos u’d found the love, the meaning & the beauty of life with Sharon, Jacob, Mdm Lu, Bulan, ur newborn goddaughter & all the wonderful people in Kuching…

I love u. 

Everyone tells a white lie on occasion, it’s just a question of why. Some white lies save relationships, some ease a hectic situation, in my case, white lies buys me time.

According to online dictionary, white lies mean an unimportant lie (especially one told to be tactful & polite). According to my own definition, white lies=dilemma. How would u know it would do us good & not the opposite? White lies enable us to cushion us from ourselves & not risking it all together. Some say As long as we aren’t hurting others or breaking the law, these innocent lies can make life more pleasant, how come I don’t feel good about my white lie?

I wonder how long my white lie would retain.